proto|mondohttp://protomondo.com Mon, 15 Mar 2010 21:44:27 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en The Holy Grail of awkward moments So I am standing next in line in the Kroger checkout this afternoon behind an Awkwardly Shaped Woman.
Checkout Girl asks her, “So, are you having a boy or a girl?”
Awkward Shaped Woman says, “Excuse me?”
C.G. repeats, only this time a little louder: “Are you having a BOY or a GIRL?”
A.S.W. flatly states, “I am NOT pregnant.”
Without a second of hesitation, C.G. says, “Well you sure look like you are about to pop to me.“
After a brief pause, A.S.W. replies “er, um, well….. thanks?”

by Rusty Smith
]]>http://protomondo.com/2010/03/15/the-holy-grail-of-awkward-moments/ The first signs of spring. Birds building nests? Daffodils and Jonquils popping their pretty little heads above the ground? Forsythia in full bloom? No, not any of those – it is opening weekend of the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association (WFTDA) at the Yaarab Shrine on Ponce! On Saturday night the Atlanta Roller Girls opened it up with a elbow throwing, jaw bashing, death defying grudge match between The Apocalypstix and the Sake Tuyas. This bout-turned-to-rout ended in an utter blowout by the Apocalypstix, 149 to 57. The Sakes just never had a chance against the awesome blocking of the ‘lypstix and the incredible speed of veteran Jammer Demi Gore and the new-up-and-comer Tequila Slammer. Opening night was jam-packed and sold out, but we had awesome seats thanks to the heads-up action by Grace Paul to score us a luxury skybox top-row bleacher seats. Our crowd turned out to be a veritable design/bond/build mash-up of folks from Atlanta: in addition to Grace “Paul Bearer” (Perkins +Will) we were joined by Jennifer Treter (aka Bony Marony) from Hendrick, Margaret Fletcher (Queen Elizabitch) with Mack Scoggin Merryl Elam Architects, Joy (Yoko Onoshedidnt) Provost with Travelers and Raigan “Bitch O’Nomics” Carr with jB+a. Accompanying this all-star team of “Ladies” were Eric Carr (Ballistic Studios), Stev Provost (jB+a) and, well, me. Wow what a sport!
by Rusty Smith
]]>http://protomondo.com/2010/03/14/the-first-signs-of-spring/ Attack of the Cabbage, Episode I I have been on the road so much lately, I have not really been able to cook much. But now that I am home for spring break, I can make up for lost time. Good thing too, as when I went to pick up our weekly box from the CSA, I found 2 heads of cabbage mixed in amongst the harvested bounty. Of all the goodies that we received, why is the cabbage of note? Well, last week we also received two heads that I had no time to deal with. So now I am faced with not two but FOUR heads of cabbage – these things seem to be multiplying like old issues of The New Yorker… Anyway, on Thursday night I got in from the Rural Studio at around 6:30pm and needed to whip something together pretty quick. We had some Italian sausage in the freezer, so I went to thawing that out slooooooooooowly in the microwave. While that was working, I peeled and cubed a few sweet potatoes (also multiplying like coat hagers), and rough-shredded a head of cabbage. I heated just a little butter in the Dutch oven, and tossed the sausages in to brown. While that was going I sauteed some green onions and green pepper in butter. I took the sausages out of the dutch oven and replaced them with sweet potatoes along with about a cup of water, and then layered the cabbage on top. I sprinkled in a pinch or two of various spices, and then placed the sausages on top of it all. Finally, I covered the whole thing tightly, turned it to a low simmer, and let it cook for about 20 minutes or so, until the potatoes were soft. The whole thing only took about 30 minutes to prepare, and Jen claimed to enjoy it. So, if you find yourself overloaded with cabbage and sweet potatoes like we are, you can check out the whole recipe here. Bon Apetit!

Rusty 1, Cabbage 0

by Rusty Smith
]]>http://protomondo.com/2010/03/13/attack-of-the-cabbage-episode-i/ What do you do when facing down an elephant with three balls? As your coach I highly suggest that you just walk him and pitch to the rhinoceros.

by Rusty Smith
]]>http://protomondo.com/2010/03/12/what-do-you-do-when-facing-down-an-elephant-with-three-balls/ from the CSA this week. Spring is here! Spring is here!
Tons of rain, its getting warmer, and spring break is just around the corner. On the way home from Auburn today, I swung by The Cook’s Warehouse in Decatur and picked up our weekly order, which was hugely awesome. In addition to the regular veggie box, I ordered a variety of meats, and all of the ingredients that we need for a great St. Patrick’s Day Irish meal.
Here is what we got this week from Moore Farms and Friends:

  • 1/2 Dozen Duck Eggs
  • 1 Dozen Chicken Eggs
  • 1 Quart Cherry Tomatoes
  • Raisin Bread mix from the Irish Bakery in Suwanee, Georgia
  • 1 Grape Fruit
  • 5 Oranges
  • 2 Cabbages
  • 1 Pound Unsalted Butter
  • 1 Head of Broccoli
  • 3 Sweet Potatoes
  • 2 New Field Potatoes
  • 2 Green Peppers
  • 4 Rutabagas
  • 3 Heads Red Leafy Lettuce
  • 1 Bunch Green Onions
  • 2 Bunches of Celery
  • 1 Bunch of Basil
  • 2 Fresh Sprigs of Rosemary
  • 2 Carrots
  • 1 Pound Lamb Shanks & Necks
  • 2 Pork Chops
  • 1 Pounds of Hot Sausage
  • 1 Ribeye Steak
  • New York Strip
  • 1 pound of Ground Beef
  • Pork Shoulder Roast
  • 5 1/2 pound Leg of Lamb
by Rusty Smith
]]>http://protomondo.com/2010/03/11/from-the-csa-this-week/ Made in Alabama. Today I learned that the toothbrush was invented in the great state of Alabama. What’s the proof? Well, if it were invented anywhere else it would have been called a “teethbrush.”

Hey – I was born AND raised in Alabama – I can tell that joke.

by Rusty Smith
]]>http://protomondo.com/2010/03/10/made-in-alabama/ One of those days… Instead of sugar, have you ever mistakenly put salt in your morning cup of coffee? What a way to start the day.

by Rusty Smith
]]>http://protomondo.com/2010/03/09/one-of-those-days/ Dems continue to blame Bush. And in the case of Megan Mariah Barnes they just may be right. Should Ms Barnes happen to respond to your ad on eHarmony.com, I have but three words for you: RUN!

by Rusty Smith
]]>http://protomondo.com/2010/03/08/in-need-of-some-a-trim/ It’s not about the destination; it’s about the process of getting there. I don’t mean to come across as rude or argumentative, but trust me: today it is TOTALLY about the destination…

by Rusty Smith
]]>http://protomondo.com/2010/03/07/it%e2%80%99s-not-about-the-destination-it%e2%80%99s-about-the-process-of-getting-there/ I want my money back. In 1803 the United States paid France 15 million dollars for 828,000 square miles of land west of the Mississippi River known as the Louisiana Territory. This price includes 9 dollars for the area of New Orleans that we now call the “French Quarter.”

by Rusty Smith
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