So I am standing next in line in the Kroger checkout this afternoon behind an Awkwardly Shaped Woman.
Checkout Girl asks her, “So, are you having a boy or a girl?”
Awkward Shaped Woman says, “Excuse me?”
C.G. repeats, only this time a little louder: “Are you having a BOY or a GIRL?”
A.S.W. flatly states, “I am NOT pregnant.”
Without a second of hesitation, C.G. says, “Well you sure look like you are about to pop to me.“
After a brief pause, A.S.W. replies “er, um, well….. thanks?”

As your coach I highly suggest that you just walk him and pitch to the rhinoceros.

Today I learned that the toothbrush was invented in the great state of Alabama. What’s the proof? Well, if it were invented anywhere else it would have been called a “teethbrush.”

Hey – I was born AND raised in Alabama – I can tell that joke.

Instead of sugar, have you ever mistakenly put salt in your morning cup of coffee? What a way to start the day.