proto|mondo » Asides http://protomondo.com Thu, 08 Jul 2010 21:41:30 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 Fresh brains.http://protomondo.com/2010/03/30/fresh-brains/ http://protomondo.com/2010/03/30/fresh-brains/#comments Wed, 31 Mar 2010 02:00:14 +0000 Rusty Smith http://protomondo.com/?p=1767 A man goes to the brain clinic to get a fresh set of brains. At the front desk is a sign that says “Doctor Brains: $20 per ounce. Scientist Brains: $30 dollars per ounce. Architect Brains: $1000 per ounce.”
$1000 dollars per ounce!” the man exclaims, “Why are architect brains so expensive!?!”
“Because it takes a loooooot of architects to get an ounce of brains,” replies the receptionist.

by Rusty Smith
]]> A man goes to the brain clinic to get a fresh set of brains. At the front desk is a sign that says “Doctor Brains: $20 per ounce. Scientist Brains: $30 dollars per ounce. Architect Brains: $1000 per ounce.”
$1000 dollars per ounce!” the man exclaims, “Why are architect brains so expensive!?!”
“Because it takes a loooooot of architects to get an ounce of brains,” replies the receptionist.

]]> http://protomondo.com/2010/03/30/fresh-brains/feed/ 0 Ten Kinds of people.http://protomondo.com/2010/03/27/ten-kinds-of-people/ http://protomondo.com/2010/03/27/ten-kinds-of-people/#comments Sun, 28 Mar 2010 01:59:11 +0000 Rusty Smith http://protomondo.com/?p=1738 1) those that understand ternary.
2) those that don’t.
10) those scrambling for an Oxford English Dictionary.

by Rusty Smith
]]> 1) those that understand ternary.
2) those that don’t.
10) those scrambling for an Oxford English Dictionary.

]]> http://protomondo.com/2010/03/27/ten-kinds-of-people/feed/ 0 A: Because they taste funny.http://protomondo.com/2010/03/26/a-because-they-taste-funny/ http://protomondo.com/2010/03/26/a-because-they-taste-funny/#comments Sat, 27 Mar 2010 03:29:10 +0000 Rusty Smith http://protomondo.com/?p=1736 Q: Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?

by Rusty Smith
]]> Q: Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?

]]> http://protomondo.com/2010/03/26/a-because-they-taste-funny/feed/ 0 A: A Stick.http://protomondo.com/2010/03/23/a-a-stick/ http://protomondo.com/2010/03/23/a-a-stick/#comments Wed, 24 Mar 2010 04:41:27 +0000 Rusty Smith http://protomondo.com/?p=1713 Q: What is brown and sticky?

by Rusty Smith
]]> Q: What is brown and sticky?

]]> http://protomondo.com/2010/03/23/a-a-stick/feed/ 0 “Wow, did you see that?”http://protomondo.com/2010/03/22/wow-did-you-see-that/ http://protomondo.com/2010/03/22/wow-did-you-see-that/#comments Tue, 23 Mar 2010 03:50:01 +0000 Rusty Smith http://protomondo.com/?p=1711 the bartender asks Heisenberg after Descartes disappears.
Heisenberg replies, “Possibly, but really I can’t be sure.”

by Rusty Smith
]]> the bartender asks Heisenberg after Descartes disappears.
Heisenberg replies, “Possibly, but really I can’t be sure.”

]]> http://protomondo.com/2010/03/22/wow-did-you-see-that/feed/ 0 A: Was that you coffin?http://protomondo.com/2010/03/21/a-was-that-you-coffin/ http://protomondo.com/2010/03/21/a-was-that-you-coffin/#comments Mon, 22 Mar 2010 01:11:14 +0000 Rusty Smith http://protomondo.com/?p=1709 Q: What did one sick casket say to the other?
I can’t believe my cough is back. Tarter sauce.

by Rusty Smith
]]> Q: What did one sick casket say to the other?
I can’t believe my cough is back. Tarter sauce.

]]> http://protomondo.com/2010/03/21/a-was-that-you-coffin/feed/ 0 Clue #143http://protomondo.com/2010/03/17/clue-143/ http://protomondo.com/2010/03/17/clue-143/#comments Wed, 17 Mar 2010 23:52:29 +0000 Rusty Smith http://protomondo.com/?p=1656 You can always tell when someone has people to do their laundry for them.
Check their hamper – every article of clothing will be turned inside out.
If they are truly loved, the clothes will be found in the layers in which they were worn,
again, all turned inside out.

by Rusty Smith
]]> You can always tell when someone has people to do their laundry for them.
Check their hamper – every article of clothing will be turned inside out.
If they are truly loved, the clothes will be found in the layers in which they were worn,
again, all turned inside out.

]]> http://protomondo.com/2010/03/17/clue-143/feed/ 0 A cure for the common cold.http://protomondo.com/2010/03/16/a-cure-for-the-common-cold/ http://protomondo.com/2010/03/16/a-cure-for-the-common-cold/#comments Wed, 17 Mar 2010 01:11:43 +0000 Rusty Smith http://protomondo.com/?p=1654 Todd Cawley goes to see his doctor because he is suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor prescribes some pills, but they don’t help at all.
On Todd’s next visit the doctor gives him a shot, but that doesn’t do any good either.
On his third visit the doctor tells Todd to go home and take a hot bath. As soon as he is finished bathing he is supposed to go out and run 10 miles.
“But Doc,” protests Todd, “if I do that, I’ll get pneumonia.”
“I know,” said his physician. “I can cure pneumonia.”

Dude – you shoulda gone out for a ride with me today. If you had, you woulda been well by mid-May. Get well soon.

by Rusty Smith
]]> Todd Cawley goes to see his doctor because he is suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor prescribes some pills, but they don’t help at all.
On Todd’s next visit the doctor gives him a shot, but that doesn’t do any good either.
On his third visit the doctor tells Todd to go home and take a hot bath. As soon as he is finished bathing he is supposed to go out and run 10 miles.
“But Doc,” protests Todd, “if I do that, I’ll get pneumonia.”
“I know,” said his physician. “I can cure pneumonia.”

Dude – you shoulda gone out for a ride with me today. If you had, you woulda been well by mid-May. Get well soon.

]]> http://protomondo.com/2010/03/16/a-cure-for-the-common-cold/feed/ 0 The Holy Grail of awkward momentshttp://protomondo.com/2010/03/15/the-holy-grail-of-awkward-moments/ http://protomondo.com/2010/03/15/the-holy-grail-of-awkward-moments/#comments Mon, 15 Mar 2010 21:43:16 +0000 Rusty Smith http://protomondo.com/?p=1647 So I am standing next in line in the Kroger checkout this afternoon behind an Awkwardly Shaped Woman.
Checkout Girl asks her, “So, are you having a boy or a girl?”
Awkward Shaped Woman says, “Excuse me?”
C.G. repeats, only this time a little louder: “Are you having a BOY or a GIRL?”
A.S.W. flatly states, “I am NOT pregnant.”
Without a second of hesitation, C.G. says, “Well you sure look like you are about to pop to me.“
After a brief pause, A.S.W. replies “er, um, well….. thanks?”

by Rusty Smith
]]> So I am standing next in line in the Kroger checkout this afternoon behind an Awkwardly Shaped Woman.
Checkout Girl asks her, “So, are you having a boy or a girl?”
Awkward Shaped Woman says, “Excuse me?”
C.G. repeats, only this time a little louder: “Are you having a BOY or a GIRL?”
A.S.W. flatly states, “I am NOT pregnant.”
Without a second of hesitation, C.G. says, “Well you sure look like you are about to pop to me.“
After a brief pause, A.S.W. replies “er, um, well….. thanks?”

]]> http://protomondo.com/2010/03/15/the-holy-grail-of-awkward-moments/feed/ 0 What do you do when facing down an elephant with three balls?http://protomondo.com/2010/03/12/what-do-you-do-when-facing-down-an-elephant-with-three-balls/ http://protomondo.com/2010/03/12/what-do-you-do-when-facing-down-an-elephant-with-three-balls/#comments Sat, 13 Mar 2010 00:34:29 +0000 Rusty Smith http://protomondo.com/?p=1611 As your coach I highly suggest that you just walk him and pitch to the rhinoceros.

by Rusty Smith
]]> As your coach I highly suggest that you just walk him and pitch to the rhinoceros.

]]> http://protomondo.com/2010/03/12/what-do-you-do-when-facing-down-an-elephant-with-three-balls/feed/ 0