Back in December when I restarted this blog, I committed to myself that I would write 100 posts in 100 days. I completed that back on March 31st, and then immediately took an unintended hiatus. What ever happened to “old habits die hard?” Writing posts for 100 days straight in a row only felt like a chore maybe four days total (I will let you figure which days those were). The only real problem with being so slavish and dogmatic about it is that I began to find myself subconsciously considering the value of my daily experiences simply through their blogability. The past three weeks have been a nice break – but obviously it time to refocus my energies on some other ridiculously banal and pointless ascetic practice. Besides, my friend Joy has finally fired her blog back up, so I did not feel so bad taking a break – I mean, there must be SOME balance in the ‘ol blogosphere…

Anyway, for my 101st straight post, I thought it would be fun to play that old Google game “Rusty Needs.” Everybody Googles themselves every once in a while, only to find out that there is someone out there with the same name as yours that is way more popular than you, as clearly demonstrated by their Google page ranking. What can you do about it? Simple: just ask Google what you need to be a better, more popular person. How do you do it? In Google, just type in “Your Name Needs” in quotation marks and BAM! Google will tell you all your shortcomings. I actually think the first time I saw this game you were actually supposed to type in “Your Name wants,” but that seems so decadent in today’s economy. I think it is much better to stick to needs until things turn around for sure.

So here are mine – surprisingly, none of these really seems very surprising at all – my immediate response to most of them is “Tell me about it…” So anyway – next week is my birthday – anything on this list would be fine by me.

1. Rusty needs to be separated from the sheep when they are worked.
2. Rusty needs to take some time before he begins in order to be sure.
3. Rusty needs to recognize his assumptions and work to eliminate them.
4. Rusty needs swimmies.
5. Rusty needs school
6. Rusty needs our prayers.
7. Rusty needs our help.
8. Rusty needs our help again.
9. Rusty needs repair.
10. Rusty needs to lock it up!
11. Rusty needs a special home.
12. Rusty needs a foster, fast!
13. Rusty needs to ride the coat tails of Penske Racing.
14. Rusty Needs Help To Face His Future.
15. Rusty needs some friends.
16. Rusty needs to disassociate himself or his credibility will be in question, especially since this company is under investigation for criminal activity.
17. Rusty needs a new oar.
18. Rusty needs a stable relationship.
19. Rusty needs a caretaker.
20. Rusty’s needs would be better met in a home free of the dominance issues and tussles that ensue.
21. Rusty NEEDS a job.
22. Rusty needs something that will keep him active for a good long time.
23. Rusty needs to take lessons.
24. Rusty needs to generate some buzz around the brand.
25. Rusty needs a fenced yard and prerfers to have the company of another dog.
26. Rusty needs more listeners.
27. Rusty needs some mud boggers in Volkswagen Cars.
28. Rusty needs to get on with his life.
29. Rusty needs some parts.
30. Rusty needs our help, and we’re going to help him.
31. Rusty needs to go to a large university hospital where they are more familiar with his polycythemia.
32. Rusty needs something a little more interesting.
33. Rusty needs a truck, I think.
34. Rusty needs a little time out to rest!
35. Rusty needs a family to call his own.
36. Rusty needs to mind his own business.
37. Rusty needs a new pair of…everything.
38. Rusty needs a chassis.
39. Rusty needs no grease.
40. Rusty needs help to face his future.
41. Rusty needs a date.
42. Rusty needs to find a job.
43. Rusty needs repairs in the business.
44. Rusty needs to get on with his life.
45. Rusty needs food but has to get past the deli counter without the butcher seeing him!
46. rusty. Needs a good stiff working over.
47. Rusty needs more disk space and needs to have his home directory relocated to another server.
48. Rusty needs just one point for his 3rd Championship.
49. Rusty needs to help Kyle.
50. Rusty needs some time in the shop…
51. Rusty needs re-chroming.
52. Rusty needs someone better.
53. Rusty needs a good balance of rest and play!
54. Rusty needs parents that will be willing to have patience with him.
55. Rusty needs to be gone thru.
56. Rusty needs a girl. Maybe.
57. Rusty needs a jacket and tie to meet the dean of engineering.
58. Rusty needs total restoration.
59. Rusty needs another Bristol win bad.
60. Rusty needs to have a little fun before he starts getting stuck in those love triangles.
61. Rusty Needs different shirt.
62. Rusty needs to be close to me which ever room I’m in.
63. Rusty needs a clean-up.
64. Rusty needs a strong leader and can sometimes get overly excited.
65. Rusty needs a fenced in yard to run around and play in.
66. Rusty needs the money.
67. Rusty needs cleaning.
68. Rusty needs further inspection.
69. Rusty needs to up his game tho.
70. Rusty needs some convincing.
71. Rusty needs to take lessons.
72. Rusty needs a new “Punchy.”
73. Rusty needs to get his child and leave.
74. Rusty needs to find a roommate.
75. Rusty needs a new master cylinder.
76. Rusty needs a new mommy.
77. Rusty needs floor pans.
78. Rusty needs to CALM DOWN.
79. Rusty needs only the stern discipline of an older man.
80. Rusty needs to take your little arse out behind the barn and straighten you out.
81. Rusty needs an active home that will help him expend his energy.
82. Rusty needs to stay off her turf.
83. Rusty needs attention.
84. Rusty needs to be resealed.
85. Rusty needs a 75% reduction.
86. Rusty needs to get a life and take responsibilities for his actions.
87. Rusty needs help. Again.
88. Rusty needs out!
89. Rusty needs something to do.
90. Rusty needs a way to make a living for himself.
91. Rusty needs to adopt the belief that it is better to face a conflict or an issue right away and not let it fester.
92. Rusty needs to chill.
93. Rusty needs a little TLC.
94. Rusty needs help if he’s going to improve his grades.
95. Rusty needs and all the supplements.
96. Rusty needs to go.
97. Rusty needs someone to rig some player models.
98. Rusty needs a cell phone.
99. Rusty needs to fix these pipes.
100. Rusty needs a treat.
101. Rusty’s needs are few and his heart is huge.

Damn straight on that last one.